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Today I want to talk with you about a common reaction in marriage.

Withdrawal.

Your husband does something or does something and you react to feeling hurt, anger, or frustration and then you withdraw.

Being in conversation with him, or interacting with him no longer feels comfortable, safe, or helpful.

So you retreat and go unto yourself.
You are human.
It feels like the right thing to do.

But I want to take a deeper dive into this response and offer you a different way of looking at it and another option for how you can respond.

Why You Withdraw
It feels like a protective mechanism.

You *think* you’re avoiding a negative emotion, but that’s not what happens at all.

When you withdraw, you remove yourself from experiencing your husband for the moment, but the anger, pain, frustration is still there because you STILL think about it. You take your thoughts with you wherever you go.

By withdrawing, you avoid and resist something, but the situation is not complete, so it still consumes your mind. You halted the process before you were able to arrive at a better place.

Here’s an analogy: it’s like you burn your hand on the hot stove. You quickly remove your hand, but then don’t put any ointment on it. The burning doesn’t stop just because your hand is not on the stove anymore. In fact, if you don’t do anything to make it better, it will only get worse.

Withdrawing is a Default Destructive Pattern
When you withdraw from the conversation or interaction, your mind is still racing with thoughts about your husband and what happened.

All you are then left with is your own un-checked and un-managed thoughts, and your husband is left with the same. You both are getting more angry and upset with each other, and then when you next interact, more than likely it is now more contentious and tension-filled.

Without re-framing your thinking or being coached, you both just stew in your thoughts and feelings, and fail to think in productive ways that would lead you to a more peaceful resolution.

When you notice this happening, I want you to call it out and label it as your Default Destructive Pattern (DDP). Knowing the role each of you play in this is critically important.

The Dangers of Withdrawing
Withdrawing creates open loops in your marriage. Open loops are things that are not properly dealt with and cleaned up. Over time, these open loops breed resentment and a hardening of your heart towards each other.

Withdrawing creates holes in your connection. The tie between you and your husband is broken, and you are unavailable for any type of positive or productive interaction.

Withdrawing widens your wounds. The initial pain or anger that prompted you to withdraw is now just festering without any remedy. You become more easily agitated and feel alone in your emotions which leads you to feel worse.

Withdrawing causes your brain to shrink instead of expanding. When you withdraw, you refuse the growth offered to you, and take a step backward. This limits you from ever making significant progress in the direction you want to go.

Benefits of NOT Withdrawing
When you make the decision NOT to withdraw, you create more of an opportunity to reach a mutual understanding.

You maintain a connection with your husband and could potentially turn what is straining your marriage into something that strengthens your marriage.

You offer yourself the chance to truly understand the initial wound that leads you to want to withdraw. You can see your anger, frustration and sadness in a different light.

When you decide NOT to withdraw, you lean into your own growth. You make the conscious decision to over-ride a destructive habit and transform into a better version of yourself.

What to do Instead
I teach my clients a strategy called Pause/Proceed. This is incredible effective in providing you some time and space to calm down, and then return to your husband in a way that is productive and moves you forward.

You simply take a “time out” from the interaction and then go through some simple exercises to process your thoughts so you can pick back up the conversation with a renewed perspective and ability to manage your emotions no matter how he is reacting.

You learn how to de-escalate your emotions, shift your thinking, and re-engage in the conversation from a more intentional place. Set a goal for the conversation where your focus is on moving forward and not proving your point or blaming your husband for the way he sees things.

 

Deciding to productively pick back up a conversation is not always easy. But it is always worth it. When you can approach the discussion from a place of wanting to create more positive ways of communicating and interacting, you break the cycle that’s had you stuck for so long.

 

Try it and see.

 

To avoiding the withdrawal,

Dr. Chavonne

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. If you want to learn more about how to apply the Pause/Proceed Method to your specific triggers, I can show you how to do that, step-by-step.

You can book a complimentary call where we can discuss what’s happening for you, I’ll offer my insight and expertise on how you should move forward, and then we can determine together if hiring me as you personal coach is the right thing for you.

CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE YOUR CALL WITH ME

How often do you feel like you are not a priority in your husband’s life?

How often does it seem like work comes first to him?

Or that he enjoys talking to anyone else more than he does with you?

How often do you think he’d rather spend his time binge-watching Netflix than interacting with you?

I used to think these thoughts. (yep).

And they felt very, very true.
I had a lot of evidence to prove them right.

Fast forward to yesterday.

Yesterday I had a perfect day with my husband.
He had the day off.

I was working in my office when he texted me and asked if I had plans for lunch.

I didn’t actually have plans for lunch, but I did have a ton of plans for what I needed to accomplish the rest of the day.

But I quickly realized this text was his way of reaching out and creating a moment of connection between us.

So I rearranged my task list and decided to go out to lunch with him.

Lunch turned into us sitting way longer together just casually chatting about anything and everything.

We laughed so hard.
He told me the most riveting stories.
We talked about ideas and things we want to do.

Then it was time to pick our kids up from school.

I went with him instead of returning to my office to catch up on my work.

I loved watching him interact with our children as he greeted them.
I thought about what an amazing father he is and how much they adore him.

Then picking up our kids turned into going out to dinner and having a really nice time together as a family.

After our kids were in bed, we sat on the couch and talked about the best part of our day, which is a ritual of ours.

We had the same answer – spending the afternoon together, just the two of us.

I share this story with you because in it there are key things that are relevant to you and where you are in your own marriage .

Remember, I was once feeling the same way you feel right now.
And now I have a completely different reality.

The time between me being exactly where you are now to my husband and I having an incredible day together yesterday was filled with a few lessons and a lot of growth on my part.

It did NOT include me complaining, asking him to spend more time with me, or me giving up hope that our connection would be stronger.

I want to give you the exact formula that will take you from feeling like you are not a priority to finally seeing just how much you are your husband’s favorite person to spend his time with.

These are the most important realizations you can come to in order to create the kind of shift you desire.

 

#1. Stop Complaining.

Whenever we are not getting what we want in a relationship, our instinct is to complain about it. “We don’t spend enough time together. When are we going to do something, just the two of us? Why do you always have something else to do?”

Or maybe your complaining is a little more subtle like, “I wish we could spend more time together. It would be nice if you planned something for us to do.”

Either way, your husband registers it as a complaint.

He senses that you don’t approve of him, and that he’s failing you in some way.

The male ego is very fragile, and so the best way to inspire him to spend time with you is to stop complaining and start appreciating. This can be as simple as “I loved when we did… or I really enjoy spending time with you.”

This is just the first step.
Keep reading.

 

#2. Stop Projecting.

There is a psychological phenomenon called projecting. It’s where you make assumptions about what someone else is thinking/feeling, but really, it’s what you think/feel.

So if you think you are not a priority to your husband, what you really need to look at is how your husband is not a priority to you. Your ego will protect you into thinking this is not the case, but if you are TRULY open and honest with yourself, there are plenty of moments where something else comes before your husband.

The kids.
Your work.
Facebook.
Getting your nails done.

Honestly look within to see the ways you’ve already been sending him signals that he’s not a priority to you. Admitting this to yourself is one of the most powerful things you can do in order to create a shift.

 

#3. Find What You Want.

Our minds are like machines. If you tell your brain that you are not a priority to your husband, it will deliver to you an abundance of evidence proving you right. This also works in the opposite direction. If you start telling yourself that you are a priority to your husband, it will then go to work to find all the ways THIS is true.

But again, the ego will resist wanting to do this work. You’ve become so comfortable being in the victim role and not getting the attention you desire. But I assure you if you just start to actively look for what you want, you will find some example, no matter how small, that will come to mind. That’s all you need. Grab it and keep building upon it.

 

#4. Be Someone He Wants to Be Around.

Okay, let’s take an honest look at yourself here. What percentage of time do you think you are truly being someone you husband would want to be around? What percentage of the day are you happy, kind to him, fun to be around? Or are you more in the space of being exhausted, stressed out, aggravated and confrontational?

Your mood and your energy matters.

And the more quickly you can start taking responsibility for the way you have been showing up, the better.

If he loved being around you when you were dating, what has changed about you now that it’s no longer the case?

Get to work being your BEST. That may mean healing some old wounds, letting go of resentment and learning to truly forgive. Whatever it is, that’s your work to do.

 

 

#5. Be Available.

You are probably unconscious to the ways you are emotionally and physically unavailable to your husband. When you reunite at the end of your work day, are you welcoming? Are you available or are you running around like a chicken with your head cut off? After the kids are off to bed, are you available, or are you already knocked out, or mindlessly watching TV or scrolling on social media?

He is never going to interrupt you no matter how many times you tell him he can. His brain doesn’t operate that way.

Make a commitment to give him your undivided attention. Be interested in what he has to say, and be interested and excited about what you have to say. I taught this to one of my clients and in a matter of weeks she and her husband were back to sleeping in the same room together.

These are the things you want to always keep in mind because they make such a difference.

There are countless books and tons of research backing these strategies.
They seem simple when you read it.
But applying it and consistently practicing these things is completely different.

Even I had to get help with this.

I had someone there to show me these things and to help me remove my own blind spots.

Even though I knew these things on a deep intellectual level, I was not actively applying them in any regular way. I needed to change my mindset so that doing these more productive actions in service of my marriage became second nature.

If any of this feels like an uphill battle for you its because you don’t have the right beliefs and way of thinking to make it easy.

There’s no shame in that.

Beliefs, like anything, have to be cultivated and developed.

It’s something you can learn to do and eventually master.

As a coach, I can have a conversation with someone and identify the exact limiting belief that’s keeping them stuck where they don’t want to be.

And then I can help them chip away at that belief and replace it with more helpful and productive thoughts that provide them with motivation and encouragement to start building their minds to believe something else.

And ultimately create a marriage where they feel like a priority to their husband.

As you read each of the five points above though, you probably had some thought about them.

Maybe it was, “I already do that”.

Or “I don’t want to do that.”

Or “I don’t know how to do that.”

Or, “I don’t think that’s really what’s happening.”

Or maybe you though, “Yes, but if my husband would just….”

It’s this very thinking that makes it hard for you to make the progress you want.  

Your brain will convince you that you are doing everything you can do. That you’re trying as hard as you can.

That’s the worst thing you could tell yourself.

Because then there is nothing left to do to make things better. You’re doing it already and it’s not working. The end.

But I want you to start asking “What if there was more I could do?”

And then read the five points above again with a more open mind.

THESE are the only solutions you need.
They are always found within you.
Never in trying to change your husband.

Put yourself as the priority in making your marriage better. And you’ll soon see how you were the priority all along.

 

Love, Always

Dr. Chavonne

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. I send powerful content like this almost every day. If you could use the right guidance and advice as you navigate this tough season of your marriage, sign up to be included on my email list!

 

Yes, I want more! Sign me up!

 

P.S.P. If you are looking for a professional to help you truly apply this work in order to finally make some progress in your marriage, reach out and book a complimentary call with me.

We will speak directly and I’ll show you the exact thinking that keeps you stuck and how you can start seeing things from a different and more helpful perspective.

You can go from not feeling like a priority to your husband, to having mid-day lunch dates together.

Let me teach you a different way.
It works so much better.

Your marriage is in a bad place.

You’ve watched it go from bad to worse and now you are looking for professional help.

It’s not a decision you take lightly because at this point, you don’t know what else to do.

You’ve been trying to many different ways and so many different approaches and nothing seems to work.

You are unsure and a little worried that getting help might not work either.

But you’re still willing to give it a try because you have to do something.

You are committed to your vows, and as a believer, you know that God can still work a miracle in your relationship.

You’re putting work to the little faith you already have.

I see you.

I understand exactly how you feel.

 

As you approach this step of seeking professional help for your marriage, I want to share with you the Top 3 Do’s and Don’ts.

 

As a marriage coach, I have seen couples approach getting help for their marriage in ways that set them up for disappointment and minimal success.

It’s important that you approach this process with the right mindset, expectations and intentions.

God designed your marriage as a mirror for you to come to realizations that draw you closer to Him and that push you into becoming the person he created you to be.

The challenges you face in your marriage are ultimately for your greatest good, and the process of working with a professional can help you arrive at that place a lot quicker if you have the right perspective.

 

Here are 3 of the most important things you can DO to set yourself up for success:

 

#1. Go in search of your own spiritual growth.

Improving your marriage is always a process that requires you to improve you. The issues between you and your spouse are a function of the interaction between the two of you. Any problems you experience together can be solved when you see yourself as part of the solution. There is some way of being, some beliefs you hold, some qualities about you that will have to be eliminated in order for your marriage to thrive.

When you enter the process of improving your marriage from the desire to grow spiritually and to become your best, you will embrace the hard lessons you need to learn. You will be able to do the right things for your marriage, not out of obligation, but from a place of truly desiring to be a better person.

 

#2. Go with faith that what you want for your marriage is possible.

Most couples who have been facing challenges for a long time have lost hope that things will actually get better. Seeking professional help is sometimes a last resort before deciding to separate. This way of thinking sets you up to fail. You have to seek a specific vision for your marriage and hold that in your mind throughout this process. You cannot have one foot in and one foot out the door.

When you commit to being all in and actively choose for your marriage to be a success, then you open the door for things to work out in that way. The thoughts you hold for what your marriage can be are extremely powerful. Our thinking often determines our reality. What do you want? Focus on that more than what you don’t want. Focus on that more than any doubt to tell you it might not be possible. God has already promised that ALL things are possible for the one who believes.

 

#3. Go in committed to persevere.

Many couples underestimate how long it can take to turn their marriage around. They forget how long it took to arrive at a place of unhappiness and have unrealistic expectations for how quickly they should start feeling better. Decide right now that you are in this for the long haul. That you are willing to be patient with yourself and your spouse. Recognize that change takes time, and that you are willing to give your all to the process even when that progress is slow in coming.

So many couples decide to get help for a few sessions and then quit when it gets too difficult. When I work with my own clients, we commit to a process for a minimum of 6 months. Just that decision alone is transformative and helps you remain committed and dedicated to truly doing ALL the work required to create the type of marriage you want. Cultivating your commitment is one of the most important things you can do to have a successful and happy marriage.

 

These powerful Do’s will take you far in the journey to improving your marriage.

Equally, if not more important, are avoiding some of the most common pitfalls couples make.

Here are 3 things you must avoid doing at all costs in order to save your marriage.

 

#1. Do NOT go in expecting to change your spouse.

I think this is one of the reasons why men are so reluctant to getting help for the marriage. It’s presented to them in such a way where they become defensive and feel blamed for all of the problems in the marriage. It’s important for you to know that your perception of your spouse is not entirely accurate and some of the things you think need to change, may only be able to happen when you first change yourself. Remember the problems you face are a result of the interaction of the two of you. If the only solution is for your spouse to change, you are never going to make the progress you want. God always operates out of a place of what’s best for everyone involved. He does not favor you over your spouse. He’s calling you to do your own work to improve the marriage too.

I want you to internalize this thought deeply: This is not about your spouse. The more you keep the focus on what you can do, the better things will become. You can only control your side of the equation. And by doing that, you automatically alter the other side. When you become better, you give your spouse something different and better to respond to. As a result, your interactions can quickly become more comfortable, kind, and loving.

 

#2. Do NOT go in expecting the professional to solve all your problems.

As a coach, my primary responsibility is to help you gain insight and remove your own blind spots so you can see the solutions that are already there. A marriage professional should not “tell you want to do” they should not influence your decisions with their own opinions. This is a sacred process and only God knows the exact path He has for your marriage.

Enter this process knowing that you have the answers you need, and that the Holy Spirit will guide you and this process. Be open minded to what your marriage professional is offering, do the work suggested for you to do, and commit to growing into a better person. Some marriage problems will always exist, but the way you handle them can change. That’s what this process will help you uncover.

 

#3. Do NOT allow anything else to be more important.

Many couples run into problems because over time the marriage slips father and father down the priority list. The demands of busy careers, raising a family and other responsibilities erodes the time they were once able to spend together. The faster you are able to make your marriage the MOST important thing to spend your time, money, and energy on, the faster you will reap the rewards.

Having a happy and strong marriage makes every other aspect of your life easier. As a parent there is no more important thing you can offer your children besides a healthy, stable, and loving relationship with your spouse. That’s worth more to them than any vacation, any extra-curricular activity, or any private school. Often when couples have stress in their marriage, it spills over into how they respond to their children. Putting your marriage first will make you a better parent. It will also make you a better employee or business owner. It will make you a better person in every way possible.

 

As you read this list of Do’s and Don’ts which one stands out the most to you? What had you not thought about?

Whatever comes up for you, I’m glad you have some new awareness and insight. Having the right mindset and perspective on your marriage is the one thing that is 100% within your control, and is the biggest factor in creating the change you want to see.

I also know that when you are having problems in your marriage, that your perspective can be clouded with thoughts and beliefs that keep you stuck in a negative cycle. Sometimes you need a little boost to keep your mind open and receptive to the right thinking.

I created a free audio program, 13 Beliefs to Hold on to When Marriage Gets Tough. It includes the most helpful and powerful things to tell yourself as you begin the work of improving your marriage. You can download it for free:

CLICK HERE to get your 13 Beliefs Audio!

 

I know it will provide you with encouragement, sound wisdom, and a faith-based perspective so you can stop worrying about what could go wrong, and focus on what can go right.

And if you are looking to hire a marriage professional to help you, feel free to reach out to me directly. I see clients “virtually” all over the world because I know how important it is to find the right person to support your marriage, regardless of location or what your insurance will cover. I work with women and couples committed to getting the BEST help for their marriage no matter what.

You can book a complimentary call with me where we can discuss your specific issues. I’ll share the exact approach I would take to help move you forward, and then we can decide if officially working together is the right next step for you.

 

Book your complimentary call with me by CLICKING HERE 

 

To loving your marriage again,

Dr. Chavonne

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dr. Chavonne is a Christian marriage coach who works with women and couples to create happier and more fulfilling marriages. Her work centers on personal transformation and spiritual growth as the path to improving the relationship. She works best with ambitious and successful individuals who excel in other areas of life, but struggle in their marriage. She is an author, speaker, and podcaster. She is based in New Jersey.

CLICK HERE to get your 13 Beliefs Audio!

So you finally had a serious conversation about you and your husband going to therapy.

You came up with all your reasons why it was the right next thing to do.

You shared how unhappy you are, and how much pain you are in.

You told him how you thought it could be helpful, and move you both forward as a couple.

And he still said no.

The disappointment you feel is soul crushing.
You feel so defeated and hopeless.

What are you supposed to do now?

How will things ever get better if he’s not willing to change his mind?

I’ve been in that place before, and I know how heartbreaking it can be.

But I’m here now to offer you a perspective that will make your next step feel like the best step of all instead of like an option that you reluctantly consider.

Get the help YOU need.

At the end of the day, you are the one in pain.
You are the one suffering and so unhappy with the way things are.

And right now your husband doesn’t think it’s as bad as you do, isn’t willing to address his part in your failing marriage, or doesn’t think it’s worth the investment of time and money for something he’s not convinced can be fixed.

He’s allowed to see it that way.
And you shouldn’t judge him or resent him for that.

In fact, his resistance could be exactly what you need to push you to where you’re supposed to be.

It could be a gift in disguise.

But what’s most important in moving you forward right now is that you put your own emotional well-being above his refusal.

He DOES NOT get to determine how you help yourself in this situation.
He DOES NOT get to hold you hostage in this state of uncertainty.
He DOES NOT get to rob you of having your own internal sense of peace and happiness.

Only you can do that.

Men operate from a place of certainty. He needs evidence that things will get better before things actually get better.

And the way to inspire a change in him is to demonstrate a change in you.

Specifically, you must stop asking him to do something he is not ready to do.

You must stop being so critical of the things you do not like about him.

You must stop allowing your feelings to fool you into thinking life would be better without him right now.

You must embody the change you want to see.
Not so much for him, but for you.

Right now you are the only one interfering with your progress.

You can fool yourself into thinking it’s him (I did that once) and stay stuck waiting for him to be different or change his mind.

You may stay there, in unhappiness, for a really long time

Or you can put your happiness squarely in your own hands and create something that only you can make happen for yourself.

You can turn to the true source of all happiness, joy and peace, and allow God to fill those empty parts of your heart your husband is just not aware of or cares to heal right now.

You can move your life forward, filling your days with things that bring you joy and make you feel alive again.

If he finally sees things your way, then great. But if it takes him a long time, or if he never gets there at all, you’ll still be okay.

There is an amazing version of you waiting to emerge from all of this.

There are things you are supposed to learn that you wouldn’t learn any other way.

Trials you’ll have to go through that show you just how strong you are.

And pain that has a purpose greater than you and what you can see right now.

As a woman, you were created to operate on faith. You hold the power to believe in something before you have any evidence of it coming to pass.

So right now, believe in yourself.
In your own ability to love yourself deeply.
In your ability to endure this season with a calmness and peace.
Your ability to find happiness in the midst of the chaos.

 

I’ve created an audio that includes 13 Beliefs to Hold on To When Marriage Gets Tough. These points will provide you with the encouragement, hope and faith to over-ride his no so you can help yourself feel better right now.

It’s yours completely free and I KNOW it will help you through this moment in time.

CLICK HERE to get your 13 Beliefs Audio!

 

And if you need a mentor to walk this journey with you right now and are committed to your own happiness more than you are to changing your husband, then we should definitely talk this coming week.

I’ve got just a few spots for a 45-minute complimentary consultation where we can talk about the pathway to you finally feeling happy, more hopeful and better about yourself and the state of your marriage right now.

This powerful conversation between us will leave you with a new perspective on everything that’s happening, and with concrete steps and a way out of your pain right now.

CLICK HERE TO APPLY FOR YOUR CONSULTATION

 

To saying yes to YOU,

Dr. Chavonne

We spend too much time focusing on what’s not going well.
The problems we have.
The issues we face.

We don’t spend enough time in gratitude.
We rarely stay in a state of solution-seeking.
We forget to pause and be present to what’s perfect in any given moment.

We’re quick to get angry.
Frustrated.
Annoyed.

Which only serve to rob us of our joy.

I have made a commitment to myself to create deep fulfillment and happiness in my life. That’s one of my main goals for 2019.

One way I’m doing that is by focusing on gratitude. I started a new practice that I wanted to share with you because I’m already quickly reaping the benefits of doing this on a regular basis.

It’s really quite simple.
Before you go to bed tonight, write down 10 things you are grateful for that happened today.

That’s the key, to write your gratitude for the things that happened on that actual day.

It’s easy to be grateful for the big, global things of your life – your family, your home, your health, your job.

But the power is in those tiny, every day occurences that would otherwise go unnoticed.

When you do your gratitude in this way, you become more conscious of the positive moments you can collect throughout your day. It brings to your awareness all that you need to notice so that when you put pen to paper at the end of the day, the things you find just pour out of you.

I’ve been a proponent of gratitude for many, many years.

And it wasn’t until I was reading listening to the RISE podcast by Rachel Hollis that I found additional value and an important tweak to my habit.

I hope you find it as helpful as I have.

 

P.S. Podcasts have literally changed my life. It was while listening to a podcast that I decided my life’s work would be about helping women like you live to their full potential, and to experience love from the inside out.

Because I know how life-changing and empowering message can be, I’m so excited to launch my own podcast this month! Details will be coming soon, but mark your calendar for December 17th, and save space for me on your morning commute!

If you’re not on my email list, be sure to sign up now so you don’t miss a thing PLUS, as new subscriber, you will receive some amazing gifts and resources for you and your marriage.

 

Yes, I want more! Sign me up!

What is a podcast you may ask? It’s like YouTube, but in audio only format. If you have an Iphone, it’s a pre-loaded App and contains a wealth of entertaining, informative, and inspirational content created by amazing people who have a message to share. So if you haven’t already done so yet, poke around there and see what you find!

 

Yours in relating well,

Dr. Chavonne

 

We have just 26 days left in 2018.

26.

How will you end the year?

Will you have the feeling of yet again, having the same goals and same resolutions, but little to show in terms of change?

Or will you look back at this year and feel like you made progress on the things that were really important to you?

Here are some of the most common goals I’m sure you have as a woman:

*Reducing debt and saving more.
*Losing weight and maintaining it.
*Developing a deeper relationship with God.
*Being more understanding and in control of your emotions.
*Communicating more effectively with your husband.
*Being a more present, loving and patient parent.
*Finding your purpose and operating in your passions.
*Rediscovering your identity and knowing who you truly are.
*Reducing stress and eliminating the feeling of constant overwhelm.

Right now, I want you to just rate yourself on each one of those goals above.

You can use a scale of 1-10, where 1 = not much success at all and 10 = an extremely high amount of success.

How did you do?

In the areas where you cannot say you’ve truly been successful, first, I want you to give yourself some grace and compassion.

Change, in any form, takes time.
It takes persistence.
It takes discipline.
It takes consistency.

But you know that already.

And you want to put in the time, you want to be persistent, you want to be more disciplined, and you want to finally be consistent.

I’m here to help you discover what’s really getting in the way. Because unfortunately, you’ve been missing that insight.

There are commons mistakes most people make when trying to achieve any goal or creating change in their life. Here they are:

 

#1. You lack clarity. 

 

The first things I’ll say about those goals above is that they are not goals at all. If yours look like these (either in your head or on paper somewhere) you’ve not thought deeply enough about what it is you want, and what it would look like to actually achieve it.

As a result, you’re already setting yourself up not to accomplish it. You’ve already put yourself at a disadvantage because you are reaching for something that doesn’t even exist. It’s an idea. A vague desire. And change in your life will never happen with those ingredients. Change that you can see, feel and experience requires that you first see it clearly, know what it’s like to feel it, and define what it’s like to experience it.

 

#2. You are not addressing the REAL cause of your lack of success. 

 

In achieving any change in your life or in your marriage, you will have days, weeks, and even months when things are not going the way you hoped. You’ll have times where your efforts are not creating change, or you fall back into your old habits. You’ll feel like you are not being successful and so you will want to just give up. You tell yourself the goal was unreasonable, and you backtrack.

That’s because underneath giving up on your goal, or believing the excuses you let keep you stuck, are a set of limiting beliefs and limited thinking about who you are and what you are capable of doing. Few people ever take the time to identify their beliefs around the areas they want to change, yet it is these very beliefs which are the drivers of your behaviors and results.

The reason you’ve not ever been completely successful before is not from lack of effort, or lack of desire. The reason you’ve not been successful before is that you have not broken through the self-limiting thoughts and self-sabotaging tendencies that keep you from real, tangible progress.

Every one of us have a set of core beliefs that determine if we will succeed or fail at something. Yet, when it comes to change we start at changing the behavior rather than changing the belief.  This is where you’ve been going wrong.

 

#3. You lose sight of the “why” or haven’t thought enough about it. 

 

As you look at the changes you want to make in your life, have you ever asked yourself why those things are so important to you? What would your life look like if those changes were achieved? How would you feel, what would be different about you, and how would you show up in the world? How would your life be better for having finally made the progress you want? What would success bring into your life that you don’t have right now?

We are so quick to just try to change things, and we skip the important step of looking deeply at why the change is critical and important. We know we need to do it, but on a very surface level. Your why will move you forward when motivation does not. Your why will give you the discipline you need to just keep going when it seems like nothing is happening. Your why will create a burning desire in you that won’t be stopped.

And once you understand your why, you have to keep it in plain view. It needs to be something you develop the habit of focusing your attention on, visualizing and thinking about each day.

When you have mastered this:

*Seeing your bank account full of money will be so much more important than that unnecessary purchase you want to make.

*That piece of dessert will pale in comparison to finally feeling comfortable in your skin.

*The peace that comes from an intimate relationship with God will be much more desirable than wasting time watching meaningless TV.

*Journaling your way to an internal sense of happiness will be so much more important than scrolling through social media, which often makes you feel like everyone’s life is better than yours.

*Having effortless communication with your husband will always trump your desire to be “right” and “make” him understand your point.

*Experiencing a calm, connected and peaceful relationship with your children will become your new normal instead of rushing them off and losing your temper when they don’t listen.

*Knowing with confidence that you are walking in your purpose and serving this world in the way God designed you to do will bring you a joy you’ve never known before.

*Looking in the mirror and being happy and in love with the person you see staring back at you will become so much easier than wearing the mask you have now, pretending that your life is wonderful when it’s not.

*Managing your stress and keeping calm in high-trigger situations will over-ride any desire to sink into perfectionistic tendencies and attempts to people-please those who don’t even matter in your life.

THIS is what change can bring you.

If you’re willing to do things differently.

This time you can actually do it, .

With the right new tools, the right new thinking, and the right new way of approaching your life, 2019 can be the year you finally get it right.

I’m ready to show you the way.

My Online Masterclass is TODAY.

Creating Change that Lasts: Set Yourself Up NOW for a Breakthrough in 2019.

There I will address how you can shift things within yourself so that you can finally shift things that need to change in your life.

I will teach you how to get super clear on what you want.

I will teach you how to transform your thinking so you can easily achieve the things you want.

I will teach you the specific techniques to keep you “why” in front of you at all times.

And you will finally look back on your life this time next year and be proud of the progress you made.

CLICK HERE for Details and to Sign Up Now! 

 

 

 

And to receive more resources and encouragement in your life and marriage, sign up to join my email community. I have some amazing gifts for you as a new subscriber.

Yes, I want more! Sign me up!

To your lasting success,

Dr. Chavonne

Do you ever feel emotionally wounded in your marriage?
Like you have been so hurt and disappointed, you don’t even know if you’ll truly recover?
Are you just sinking further and further in the sea of discontentment?

The image you had of your life with your husband has evolved into something you don’t even want any more.

You are perpetually unhappy.
Completely misunderstood and under appreciated.
The distance between you is palpable and the spark is long, long gone.

Right now, the easiest thing seems to just co-exist and to raise your children together without putting any effort into your relationship with each other.

You’re so tired.
Exhausted.
Defeated.

Having the same issues over and over again.
He works too much.
He doesn’t help out around the house.
He doesn’t communicate with you at all.
He doesn’t take into account your opinion or needs.
He doesn’t put forth any effort to show he loves you.
He has shut down and checked out.

You feel rejected and neglected.
That pain and unfulfillment has lead you to be a little numb inside.
You’ve been in this place for so long it’s now your default.

I see the tears welling up in your eyes as you read this.
And the tears are welling up in mine as I write to you.

I know this pain really well.
And it does get better.
I know that too.
I can show you how to dig yourself out of it, and to experience a relationship with your husband that lights you up inside instead of sucking the energy out of you.

But right now, I know it’s so easy to lose hope in moments like these.
It’s so easy to feel like the situation is the worst is could ever be.

There is this dull ache inside of you that just won’t go away.
I know you’re hurting.
I know you’re angry.
And I know you just don’t know what to do right now.

A part of you wants to stay because you want it to be better.
A part of you wants to leave because you just can’t take it anymore.

And so you sit in the middle, unhappy, but there.
Checked out, but there.

Right now, I cannot tell you what to do.
And as a coach, that’s not even my job.

My role is to help you get the right perspective so you can see your situation for what it really is.

My role as a spiritual teacher is to show you how to take this situation to God and tune your heart and ear to His response.

My role as your sister in this journey of marriage is to listen with an empathetic ear and help encourage you when you can’t do that for yourself.

And so given that, I want to leave you with 3 very important questions to help move you through this situation.

 

#1. Is it really as bad as it seems? 

I know this is an odd thing to ask, and your answer may immediately be “yes”. But let’s take a look at it.

Have you ever written down on paper all the things you feel are going wrong in your marriage? That’s an important exercise to do. Right now, all that’s going wrong is jumbled around in your mind without much specificity, and because of that the vagueness is clouding your judgment.

What specifically is not working for you? What specifically do you want your husband to be doing differently? What are the specific differences between you right now that are causing the issues? I want to encourage you to spend 5-10 minutes writing down your answers.

Then, I want you to begin to write out all the things that are going right. All the things you still see within your husband that are worth loving. All the ways he is still a good husband, father, and companion to you. I want you to think about the good moments you’ve had in your marriage, and the dreams you still have buried deep in your heart for the future. Those dreams are still there. You may not believe in them right now, but they exists. Dig them up, take a look at them.

This is so important because for so long your mind has been conditioned to find what’s wrong, what’s painful, and what’s not working. In order to see things in a more balanced and rational way, you need to begin to accumulate evidence for what’s right. You will have resistance to doing this. You will think there is nothing good to document. But that’s not the truth. And that’s also why step #2 below is so important.

I also want to leave you with my audio: 13 Beliefs To Hold On To When Marriage Gets Tough. It will help you get into the right frame of mind.

CLICK HERE to get your 13 Beliefs Audio!

 

#2. How have you involved God? 

I know you may be praying for your marriage on a surface level. I know you’ve taken to God the things you want to be different about your husband. But have you truly, deeply and sincerely asked God to change your heart? Have you invited the Holy Spirit in to convict you of what is right?

Our emotions are extremely powerful forces. They can consume us and cause us to act in ways that don’t make us proud and in ways that don’t even represent who we know ourselves to be. Emotions can cause us to act mean, spiteful, like a victim, to quit on ourselves, and to see things the wrong way.

But the most powerful emotion in on the planet is love. And when we cannot generate that ourselves, we need to get it from the Creator. We need to get it from the direct source. Right now, ask God to flood your heart with love. Sit in His presence and just center yourself on the emotion of love. Say out loud, “Holy Spirit, you are welcome here. Flood my heart with your love. Show me what you need me to know.” And then sit in silence.

Your emotions are out of control, and you need some spiritual grounding. The disappointment is overshadowing the hope that God can provide. Involve Him minute by minute in your emotions. Involve Him in your thinking, in your interpretations of situations, in your perspective on it all.

Take your burdens to Him, and ask Him to change it in the way that’s best for all involved.

I want to encourage you to listen to my Forgiveness Prayer and Meditation. It will help you open your heart and to release those hurts and pains that have wounded you in your marriage.

CLICK HERE to get your Forgiveness Prayer!

 

#3. Who can you turn to? 

Do you have an objective person you can turn to? Someone who can help you navigate this situation with reason an the right frame of mind? I know you have friends and family who are there for you, but can they really handle what you are dealing with in a way that will move you forward? Wise counsel is extremely important and those closest to you may sometimes just agree and side with you because the love you so much.

But you need to be challenged in your thinking so you can grow stronger from this.
Your perspective needs to be expanded so you can get unstuck.
Your vision needs to be enlarged for you to make progress.

Your marriage is the most private and sacred aspect of your life. You cannot just trust it with anyone. And you don’t need the cookie-cutter advice that you’ve heard 1,000 times before.

You need real help.

If you are at a place where you are truly ready to say yes to yourself and get the help you need, I want to offer myself as someone you can turn to.

I have a private practice where I support clients just like you in navigating the most difficult seasons of their marriage. I welcome the opportunity for us to speak and to determine if I’m the right person to help move you forward right now.

CLICK HERE TO APPLY FOR A COMPLIMENTARY CONSULTATION

 

Please know that I know how you feel.

Marriage is a forever roller coaster that will always have it’s ups and downs. The goal is not to eliminate that and create some “perfect” marriage because those don’t exist. The goal is to get you to a place where you are feeling better and happier with you and how you’re showing up to your marriage.

All changes happens from the inside out.

And the level of change you are able to make within yourself is directly related to the level of change you’ll experience in the relationship with your husband.

Change is never easy.
But it’s the way to anything being different.
And it’s the quickest path to healing what’s hurting you inside.

To your quick recovery,

Dr. Chavonne

Change feels funny.
It’s different.
Unusual.
Unfamiliar.

We experience something that is new to us, and our minds don’t know what to do.

I remember when things started to change in my own marriage.
I started wondering why my husband was acting differently.
Why he was being so kind and thoughtful and attentive to me.

I kept waiting for things to turn back to the way they were.

We had been in a place of stagnation and unhappiness for so long, my mind didn’t know how to experience being in a place of contentment and joy together.

It felt awkward.
I didn’t think it would last.
I’d walk around on egg shells not sure of how to be.

I had grown comfortable being upset.
Distant.
Withdrawn.
Quiet.

And now I didn’t need to do or be those things anymore.
But I didn’t know how.

That’s the thing about change.
We don’t know how to do it.

We don’t know how to be someone that we’ve not been being.
We don’t know how to act in ways we’ve not yet acted.
We don’t know how to experience our life in marriage in a way different than what we’ve always done.

That’s because our minds, our emotions, our identity get very comfortable in a particular pattern.
That’s what we know.
That’s what we’ve grown used to.
That’s what feels familiar, even if it’s not what we want.

And so we continue, thinking the same thoughts, feeling the same feelings and being the same person we’ve learned to become.

But in order to experience the change we really desire, we have to become a person who can receive, embrace, and maintain that change.

That’s the hard part.
The’s the part you don’t know how to do yet.
That’s the part that feels uncomfortable and unlike everything you’ve been doing before.

And that’s the part I would love to help you with.

On Wednesday, December 5th, I’m hosting an online Masterclass entitled: How to Create Lasting Change: Set Yourself Up NOW for a Breakthrough in 2019.

I’m going to teach you how to be different in your mind.
I’m going to teach you how to be different in your actions.
I’m going to teach you how to be different in your whole being as a person.

Not that there’s anything wrong with you.
But there’s just so much that could be better with you.

Regardless of what’s happening in your life or marriage right now, you are being called to change.

You are being called do think and do things differently than you’ve ever had before.

And what got you to where you are now, will not serve you in where you are trying to go next.

This 90 Minute Online Masterclass is designed to help you create lasting change in your life and marriage.

Nothing about your life will change until you change.

That includes your relationship with money.
Your weight.
Your professional life.
The relationship with your husband.

That’s because most people begin to tackle change in their lives without first looking at the thoughts, emotions and sense of identity that lead to the results they are experiencing now.

So if you want to reduce your debt…
Want to lose 30 pounds…
Want to advance in your career…
Want to have a marriage that lights you up inside…

…all of the ingredients are the same, because they all start and end with you.

 

In this Masterclass, you will receive all the practical tools and mindset strategies to ensure that this time next year, you have developed new habits and achieved new goals that actually stick.

 

SIGN UP HERE: http://bit.ly/changeit2019
(you will receive a link to join the class virtually)

Specifically, I will be teaching you how to:

-Uncover and overcome your biggest blocks to success and happiness in your life and marriage

-Over-ride your self-sabotaging tendencies and generate motivation and discipline to do the things you know you should be doing

–Quiet the negative self-talk and chatter that would normally have you doubting yourself and creating excuses so you can experience some of the great joys of life and marriage

-Create an internal accountability system that makes sticking to your goals automatic when you don’t get the support and encouragement you need and want

-Create realistic goals and improvement plan that will guarantee your success

 

Your Masterclass Registration includes:

-Live Masterclass (plus lifetime access to the recording)
-Q&A Session
-Coaching Workbook (Plus Year End Review, 2019 Action and Motivation Plan)
-Coaching and Accountability Call (held early 2019)

 

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER: http://bit.ly/changeit2019

 

If you are looking for anything to be different in your life this time next year, you MUST attend this Masterclass.

You will learn things you didn’t even know you needed to know in order to create and maintain change.

I remember when I had my own ah-ha moment with this material.
It literally created a paradigm shift and completely changed how I looked at achieving anything great in my life.

I can’t wait to share it with you on December 5th.

I’m looking forward to seeing you there.

To real change you can maintain…

Dr. Chavonne

What is your greatest emotional fear?

We all have them.

Those wounds from our childhood that we carry with us into our friendships, our professions, and our marriages.

For me, it’s rejection.
I remember so many instances where I felt left out, not included, and just not good enough.

But for a long time, I didn’t know this was my issue.

I wasn’t aware of how it was at play in my life.

I couldn’t see how my striving for achievement and accomplishment after accomplishment was just a cry for acceptance.

It wasn’t until I began to do the deep work on myself to uncover and heal my past hurts that I was able to fully understand it all.

It wasn’t until I started rediscovering my true identity that I saw myself as I truly was.

This fear of rejection made me feel a little insecure in my marriage.

And once my husband and I hit our own rough patch, it was magnified and created more suffering for me.

I was always afraid my husband would just leave.

That his silence meant he was so unhappy with me and didn’t love me anymore.
I couldn’t handle any sign of his disapproval and would take any criticism so personally.
I would get so down on myself, I would withdraw and become a sad person that I didn’t even like very much.

I’m so glad now I’ve learned to accept myself.

I’m so happy I’ve learned to receive the full and unconditional acceptance of God.

Because now when I’m feeling that way, I know it’s not the truth of who I really am.

Now when I’m feeling that way, I have tools and strategies to love and accept myself and no longer need outside validation or applause.

This has been life-changing for me.
There is no way to truly express how amazing it feels to release myself from something that held me back for so long.

What about you?

Can you imagine finally putting to rest those negative and self-defeating conversations with yourself about how you’re not worthy, you’re not loved, you’re not good enough?

Can you imagine your life with a deep inner peace and no more need to constantly please other people, and gain their attention and affection? 

In this time of exchanging gifts, self-love and wholeness is the greatest gift you could give to yourself.

Are you willing to do that?

Are you in a place where you know you need to do the work on yourself from the inside out?

Could you use some guidance and a mentor who will show you the path forward with compassion and encouragement?

If so, we should definitely talk.

If you’ve been impacted by my emails, and feel like I speak directly to your situation, that’ a sign that should not be ignored.

We have only 33 days left in the year.

I know you’ve already begun to reflect.

I know you’ve already thought about the changes you want to see this time next year.

I know you are wanting things to be different.

Now it’s time to get some new tools at your disposal so you can become the person that deep down you know you can be.

Release the guilt and shame.
Release the comparisons, and competitions.
Release the need to be liked by people who don’t even matter.
Release the pain and hurt that keeps your marriage stuck.

Release it.
Let it go.

And enter this next season of your life with purpose, intention, and direction.

I’m here to help.

 

And if you’d like to stay in touch and have amazing inspiration and helpful resources delivered right into your inbox, join my community of raving fans by clicking the button below!

Yes, I want more! Sign me up!

 

To you,

Dr. Chavonne

CLICK HERE to get your audio!

 

Here you will find an encouraging message you’ll listen to over and over and over again. It will lift your spirits. It will help you to suffer less. It will give you a new perspective on what you are going through.

And of course, if after you listen, you’d like to speak directly with me and see how I might be able to help you more, you can do that by CLICKING HERE.

 

To less suffering for you,

Dr. Chavonne

I hope you had an incredible Thanksgiving holiday!

And now we enter the season of Black Friday and Cyber Monday!

I’ve never been a Black Friday shopper, but I understand it’s a serious thing for some people. So if that’s you, have at it!

If it’s not, you’ll find what I share today is much more valuable that any door buster deal.

Today, I want to continue the conversation about gratitude. It’s so easy to slip in and out of it in our lives.

But as you know by now, part of my message is living our lives with intention.

And so I recorded an audio message on the topic of Gratitude in Advance.

Before you listen, I want you to think about the following:

What is something in your life right now that you want to be different?

What’s a prayer, hope or dream you have buried in your heart that you’re not sure will actually happen given how things are right now?

Do you think you could be BOLD enough and courageous enough to start thanking God in advance for your prayer to be answered?

It’s an essential key to moving Him to act on your behalf.
It’s an essential key for your happiness and peace of mind.
It’s an essential key for your ultimate success in that area of your life.
It’s an essential key for you to remain mentally strong when it seems like things are going from bad to worse.

This message is so, so necessary this time of year.

LISTEN HERE

As you begin to reflect on all that’s happened, and all that you still want to be, the ability to see your goals and desires as already accomplished is the thing to help encourage you when you have a bad day. Resting in the assurance it’s already done, and in the meantime, you just have to do 3 specific things that I describe in the audio.

Follow the steps, and you’ll see the change.

LISTEN HERE

I am standing in agreement with you!

And if you like hearing me in this audio format, stay super close because details about my new podcast will be coming soon!! To be added to my email list and receive more encouragement and resources to improve your life and marriage, click the button below!

Yes, I want more! Sign me up!
Thank you, in advance!

Dr. Chavonne

Sometimes you need to talk to yourself.
To keep your emotions under control.
I can handle this.
There is peace within me.
I will remain calm.
I will not let this bring me down.

Sometimes you need to talk to yourself.
To manage yourself in a frustrating situation.
I will not take this personally.
I will not allow negativity to rule me.
I will rise above my hurt feelings.
I will find a way to deal with this.

Sometimes you need to talk to yourself.
To encourage yourself when you feel alone.
God is with me.
I am worthy.
I am important.
I am a great person to be around.

Sometimes you need to talk to yourself.
To keep your eye on the big picture.
I will not give up.
I will not quit.
I will not change my mind.
I will not let myself down.

Yes, sometimes, you do need to talk to yourself.

And sometimes you need to talk to someone else who truly understands you.
Who’s shared your struggles.
Cried your tears.
And who can speak into you, what you can’t speak for yourself.

Being able to talk to yourself in a positive way is a skill that must be developed.
You spend too much time in negative self talk.
You spend too much time feeling sad, and down.

Your negative emotions is just a signal that the conversation in your head is the wrong one to be having.

Nothing is as bad as it seems.

All it takes is a shift in perspective.

A new seat at the table of your life.

A new way of seeing what’s happening for you right now.
And it is happening for you.

For your growth.
For your betterment.
For your next level.

All you need to do is talk it out.

I’m here to listen.

To talk that’s extremely valuable,

Dr. Chavonne

There is so much to be grateful for.

I know you’ve heard that before.
Gratitude is a popular concept that we all “should” embrace.

And tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so what better time than to focus on all that you are grateful for, than then?

If you find yourself in a rough patch in your marriage though, finding anything to be grateful for can be really difficult.

If you find yourself completely overwhelmed at work, and annoyed with your colleagues, finding anything to be thankful about can seem like an impossible task.

If you find yourself sinking under the weight of motherhood, with children that don’t respect you, then finding a way to be appreciative is not the first thing that comes to mind.

But here’s the thing about gratitude:

It’s always the best solution if you want to feel better.

There is always, always, always something to be grateful for.
Even in those areas of life that test you, stretch you, and try you in ways you prefer they not.

It’s only in that testing, stretching, and trying that you become a much better version of yourself.

You may be saying, “Okay Chavonne, easy for you to say.”

I want to assure you, it is not.

I too am in a place where in certain areas of my life, it’s much easier to sit in defeat and self-pity than to focus on everything that is going right.

Just like you, I’m an over-achiever, and when a goal or desire is not met, or takes “too long” to manifest in my life, I get a little impatient, anxious, and frustrated.

It’s hard to feel like something should be one way, when everything in front of you is the complete opposite.

But that’s when gratitude is the MOST important.

That’s when your understanding of what you’ve been given already is MOST valuable.

That’s when your faith and belief in what you desire is MOST critical.

I know this because in other areas of my life, I’m reaping the benefits of the hard work of gratitude.

I’m now seeing how being grateful in the past is creating more to be grateful for in my present.

I want to encourage you to think about gratitude in a different way than you have ever done before.

It is one of the most effective life-coaching tools you could ever apply to your life.
It’s one of the hallmarks of our faith, and God encourages us to do it.

Here are 3 ways to re-frame your thinking about an “attitude of gratitude” so you get much more out of the experience and so that you become grateful at your deepest core. No matter what.

 

1. See gratitude as a discipline. 

Gratitude is not something that should be saved for special occasions and holidays. It is a discipline that should be practiced daily. And like all disciplines (going to work, taking a shower, brushing your teeth) it is one that should be considered a non-negotiable.

Start seeing gratitude as something you do ALL the time. Not just when things are going great, and the things to be grateful for are easy to find. But for the rest of the year, commit yourself to finding three deep and meaningful things to be grateful for each day. It will change your life.

2.  See gratitude as self-care. 

Often times gratitude is something we express to other people. We say thank you when others are kind to us. We view gratitude as something external to ourselves to be given to others.

But gratitude is also self-care.

Whether it’s appreciating yourself, and all that makes you amazing, or taking a moment to celebrate your accomplishments and progress, gratitude is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself. “I”m grateful for me.” is something I encourage you to start saying to yourself each day. It’s a great confidence booster.

#3. Focus on the insignificant. 

It’s easy to be grateful for your life, health, the income you have, and your material possessions. It’s easy to be grateful for the important people in your life. But what about those small, teeny, tiny, almost insignificant details of your life? Like the fact that your husband did wash the dishes eventually? Or that your colleague did care enough to offer feedback? Or that you are able to cover that unexpected expense? Or that you got one positive response from your child?

Focusing on those smaller wins that would otherwise go unnoticed expands your consciousness and pulls into your mind more things to be grateful for.

At the beginning of this year, I read Thank and Grow Rich by Pam Grout and she suggests you make gratitude a game. Try it. How many small, seemingly insignificant things can you bring to your mind to be grateful for? I’ll challenge you to 100. Make it fun. You’ll feel so much better. You should even ask your family to play along.

I hope you’ll really take the time to think about gratitude in a different way. It’s such an important practice and instantly lifts your mood.

And now, I want to take this time to thank you, my dear reader.

Thank you for becoming a member of my community.

Thank you for trusting me with a few minutes of your time today.

Thank you for opening up my blog and welcoming my words into your life.

Thank you for forgiving me when I have a typo or two.

Thank you for sharing my posts with those you care about.

Thank you for thinking deeply about the message I share.

Thank you for taking action and doing things differently in your life.

Thank you for being here with me.

Thank you for trusting me with the most important area of your life.

Thank you for your words of appreciation as you write back to me.

Thank you for believing in me and what I’m doing when I couldn’t believe for myself.

Thank you for praying for my marriage and for my overall well-being.

Thank you for becoming my clients and for seeing me as your mentor.

Thank you for reading my book and for valuing what I have to say.

Thank you for attending my events and for being a positive presence in the room.

Thank you for reading all the way to the end.

I love you and am so, so, grateful I get to do this with you every single day.

And if we’re not connected via email, let’s make it official! You can subscribe using the button below and receive more words of encouragement and some amazing resources you can put to use right away to have a happier and more loving marriage.

 

Yes, I want more! Sign me up!

 

Have an amazing, amazing Thanksgiving!

Dr. Chavonne

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To the most important work you’ll ever do…

Dr. Chavonne