Sometimes, relationships are hard.
You take two people with their own set of experiences and ways of being, their own expectations and fears, their own strengths and weaknesses and meld them together as an interconnected unit. There are many times when those experiences, expectations and strengths line up with each other in amazing and incredible ways. There are other times when they are in direct conflict with each other and lead to frustration, pain, and resentment. Those are the hard times.
Sometimes, relationships need help.
It’s great to get advice from friends and loved ones. Often, they have dealt with similar situations and have something valuable to offer. Other times, they come to the conversation with a perspective that is influenced by their own history, their relationship with you, and their opinions about who’s right, who’s wrong and how the situation should ultimately be resolved. Their help may unintentionally steer you away from what you know is right for you. The best help is objective and focuses on guiding you to achieve the outcomes you want.
Sometimes, relationships need a new version of you.
Relationships are the sum of their parts. They can only evolve when the individuals within them think, feel, and do things differently. At the same time, you can only control your own thoughts, feelings and actions. Learning how to manage yourself in ways that give you joy, peace and contentment in any situation removes the need for you to try to get someone to be different from the way they are being. With intention, focus and proven strategies, you can recreate your own experience and ultimately relate well to anyone and anything in your life. And that’s the work.