Category: Keeping the Right Frame of Mind

Keeping the right frame of mind is critical when it comes to your marriage. As soon as your thinking is more negative than positive, you’ve hit a danger zone that requires some hard work to get out of. Our mind is the engine for everything that happens in a marriage. The way you think about your marriage, your husband and yourself within your marriage determines your attitude, your reactions, your behaviors, and ultimately the outcomes and experiences you have. Getting to or maintaining the right frame of mind is one of the first steps in being able to have a happy and long-lasting marriage. When you first got together as a couple, this was easy to do. You felt good about him, he felt good about you. Then over time as disappointments and frustrations set in, your view of each other shifted and you began to rehearse more negative evaluations of each other. And many times, you have a sea of evidence to support your negative perceptions. Concrete examples, specific conversations, days and moments where you’ve seen for yourself a less than desirable side of your husband.

What’s important to remember is that we ALL have qualities that need to be improved. Every marriage has disappointing situations and times where expectations are not me. What sets apart the couples who make it from the ones who don’t is keeping the right frame of mind and maintaining an open perspective and a willingness to still find the good in each other. Here’s where you’ll find everything you could think of, and lots of stuff you didn’t even know about, so that you can keep a positive outlook and develop the beliefs that will help your marriage thrive.

Keeping the Right Frame of Mind

Prayers for Your Marriage Copy

Post author By Chavonne Perotte
Post date October 22, 2019

You knew marriage would be work. But you never expected it to be this hard. Loving your husband right now seems like more work than you are willing to put in.

You are so disappointed by everything that’s going wrong.

The image you had of your life together has been destroyed by unmet expectations, heartbreak and conflict.

When you look at him or think of him, all you see is the ways he let you down and just isn’t the man you want anymore.

You’ve been praying for your marriage, hoping so badly that things would turn around.

And right now it seems like nothing is changing.

He’s no different, and your heart is hardening towards him.

You’re more impatient, irritable, and resentful.

You’re losing faith that things will ever be different.

I know EXACTLY how you feel.

The unraveling of my own marriage was something that devastated me to my core. We were once so happy and everyone saw us as the “perfect” couple.

Tags marriage prayers, pray for your marriage

Keeping the Right Frame of Mind

Prayers for Your Marriage (Challenge)

Post author By Chavonne Perotte
Post date December 11, 2018

You already know you should pray for your marriage on a consistent basis. But sometimes it seems like nothing is changing. Perhaps that’s because God’s waiting for you to pray for the right things.

I know this from personal experience.

The unraveling of my own marriage was not something that announced itself with the formality or grandeur of a symphony orchestra.

It was more of a quiet, consistent, side note. And an off-key on at that.

Slowly over time, other things took priority.

Tags marriage prayers, pray for your marriage

Keeping the Right Frame of Mind

Prayers for Your Marriage

Post author By Chavonne Perotte
Post date September 10, 2018

You knew marriage would be work. But you never expected it to be this hard. Loving your husband right now seems like more work than you are willing to put in.

You are so disappointed by everything that’s going wrong.

The image you had of your life together has been destroyed by unmet expectations, heartbreak and conflict.

When you look at him or think of him, all you see is the ways he let you down and just isn’t the man you want anymore.

You’ve been praying for your marriage, hoping so badly that things would turn around.

And right now it seems like nothing is changing.

He’s no different, and your heart is hardening towards him.

You’re more impatient, irritable, and resentful.

You’re losing faith that things will ever be different.

I know EXACTLY how you feel.

The unraveling of my own marriage was something that devastated me to my core. We were once so happy and everyone saw us as the “perfect” couple.

Tags marriage prayers, pray for your marriage

Keeping the Right Frame of Mind

Why is My Husband So Critical of Me? 3 Realities You Must Understand

Post author By Chavonne Perotte
Post date March 10, 2018

I think at some point or another, every wife feels a little judged by her husband.

Maybe it’s in a moment when your two ways of seeing things collide, and he takes a self-righteous stance.

Maybe it’s in a moment where he corrects something you’re doing because it’s not the way he thinks it should be done.

Maybe it’s in a moment when he tells you that your reaction to a situation is uncalled for and just not the right way to feel.

I can say I’ve personally found myself in these situations many times over and they are hard to swallow.

Tags mindset, reflection, self-improvement

Keeping the Right Frame of Mind

Letting Your Husband Lead – 4 Truth that Make it Much Easier

Post author By Chavonne Perotte
Post date March 9, 2018

Letting your husband lead is hard, especially when you have been used to leading all by yourself.

Accepting help from someone is difficult when you’re not entirely sure they have it all together themselves.

Allowing yourself to be guided by someone else’s decision-making when it’s not AT ALL the way you would do stretches you in ways that feel really uncomfortable.

Independence is a quality that’s ingrained in us at an extremely early age.

Tags perspective, self-reflection

Keeping the Right Frame of Mind

3 Critical Reminders When You Feel Judged by Your Husband

Post author By Chavonne Perotte
Post date March 5, 2018

Do you ever find yourself feeling judged by your husband? Like his words pierce you at your core and make you feel like a horrible person who will never be able to get her life together?

I know I have.

But what I’ve come to understand is that sometimes, it’s not so much about the judgment that’s being thrown at us. In all honesty, it’s more about our inability to accept feedback we don’t find helpful and the burried shame that’s easily stirred up by just the right combination of words from our husband.

I think back to the other day when I told my husband Schubert about an expense I was considering.

Tags mindset, perspective, self-reflection

Keeping the Right Frame of Mind

The Secret to Being Less Annoyed with Your Husband

Post author By Chavonne Perotte
Post date March 2, 2018

How much of your day or week do you spend feeling frustrated, irritated or annoyed with your husband?

Think about it.

In a given day, how many things come up that trigger your impatience, criticism, and disagreement?

And after they come up, how long to you spend feeling mad or upset about it?

Do you believe there is a better way, a completely different way to feel in those situations that normally drive you to vent, go off and lose your temper?

Tags managing emotions, mindset

Keeping the Right Frame of Mind

What to Pray for Your Marriage So that God Answers

Post author By Chavonne Perotte
Post date January 28, 2018

I know this from personal experience.

The unraveling of my own marriage was not something that announced itself with the formality or grandeur of a symphony orchestra.

It was more of a quiet, consistent, side note. And an off-key on at that.

Slowly over time, other things took priority.

Tags marriage prayers, pray for your marriage

Keeping the Right Frame of Mind

5 Things to do When Your Marriage is Falling Apart

Post author By Chavonne Perotte
Post date January 24, 2018

Every couple has their hot-button issues which can sometimes lead you to think your marriage is falling apart.

Almost every conversation leaves one or both of you feeling not so great about the exchange.

My husband and I are no different.

But one of my goals for my marriage this year is to communicate openly and honestly, and to be more in control of my emotions during difficult conversations.

Even though I’m studying this area daily, I still have my moments of falling down.

And on Thursday of last week, I had one of those moments.

Tags marriage improvement, mindset

Keeping the Right Frame of Mind

1 Step that Can Change Your Marriage for Good

Post author By Chavonne Perotte
Post date January 17, 2018

When your marriage is not going well, it can be overwhelming and figuring out what 1 step you should take to change your marriage and get things back on track.

In these instances, its easy to just throw your hands up in desperation, or to become paralyzed by confusion and the feeling that it will literally take FOREVER for you to see any significant progress.

It will be tempting to just sit down and do nothing, while you continue to watch the situation slowly drift farther and farther off the course you had initially charted.

In these moments for myself, I’m reminded of a wonderful quote I came across at least 20 years ago. It’s one of those that struck such a chord with me, I’ve never forgotten it.

Tags marriage improvement