How much of your day or week do you spend feeling frustrated, irritated or annoyed with your husband?
Think about it.
In a given day, how many things come up that trigger your impatience, criticism, and disagreement?
And after they come up, how long to you spend feeling mad or upset about it?
Do you believe there is a better way, a completely different way to feel in those situations that normally drive you to vent, go off and lose your temper?
There is.
I know this from experience.
And that different way feels a lot better.
It feels better in your mind.
In your heart.
In your body.
In your spirit.
It feels like peace. Contentment. Fulfillment. Joy.
All the things God wants for us every minute of every day.
But many times we choose the path of upset, anger and frustration. Mostly because we are not even aware that there is a different way to be.
You actually don’t have to be so annoyed with your husband. And maybe this is the first time you’ll hear, you actually have a choice that you’ve been blind to.
I see it all the time when I talk to women who come to me for help. It’s in the words they choose to speak, the way of thinking they’ve adopted, the habits they are unaware they have.
I’ve learned, through lots of practice and mistakes along the way, to see this for myself as well.
As a mother of two intense toddlers,
the wife of a husband who works 14 hour days,
a busy entrepreneur and consultant,
a daughter,
a sister,
and friend,
there is no shortage of demands, stresses and responsibilities waiting for my full attention at the EXACT same moment.
It seems like every hour of every day, there is some instance where all the wrong buttons can easily be triggered. Especially by my husband. Case in point:
-Madison (my 3 year old) wakes up unexpectedly when I’m working on an important task that I have to finish and my husband is no where to be found to help.
-There’s laundry piling up to the sky and I’m the ONLY person who seems to notice.
-My husband says something that leads me to feel judged and inadequate after I’ve had a very trying day with out two children.
I could go on and on, but I’ll spare you the endless list for now because I’m sure you’ve got your own.
But I’m learning, a little more with each day, to quickly move myself from getting grumpy to getting grateful.
And it’s made all the difference.
Gratitude, in my opinion is one of the best solutions to anything in your life that upsets you or brings out a negative emotion. But it’s got to be used in a certain way. And you’ve got to commit to it constantly.
In October of last year, I decided to start a gratitude habit, where every night I would write down 10 things I was grateful for. I stretched myself to write down 10 different things as often as I could.
Not only did my life arrange itself so that I had more and more things to be grateful for, but it quickly became a part of my character and is now almost my default way of being.
When all of my regular triggers pop up and tempt me to react negatively, I am able to shut it down and step into gratitude in less than 30 seconds.
Imagine spending less than 30 seconds upset at the things that frustrate you. Do you know how much more you would enjoy your life?
But in order to do this, there are three things you must believe:
1. There is a different way for you to be.
You have to know that you can choose to respond differently. You do not have to be frustrated, irritated and annoyed with your husband or anything else in your life for that matter.
Even if it seems perfectly justifiable.
You can choose to feel differently. And these choices, everyday, add up to you becoming a person who is more at peace, fulfilled and happy with everything in her life.
2. Gratitude and having a positive outlook is available to you all the time.
I like to think of this like God is always there whispering to me, “No, you can look at it this way. See it differently.” or “Well, how about taking a closer look at what is working, and what is possible?”
The more you realize that you can be grateful and positive no matter what, is the moment a whole new and better life opens up to you.
3. Choosing a different reaction will feel hard at first, but it always feels better in the end.
We act in ways that feel natural to us – for good or bad. And any change in how we react will be met with resistance. It causes a mini-identity crisis.
But if you can expect it to feel hard, and expect yourself to want to revert back to the old way, then you can arm yourself with the right strategy to move past the roadblock and ultimately feel a way that makes your life better.
Now listen, I don’t claim that any of this is easy. And I’ll likely be on this journey of becoming my best self for the rest of my life. But I’m on the journey.
Are you?
Or are you content being the way you’ve always been, doing the things you’ve always done?
I think God wants more for you. I think God deserves more of you.
I’m so determined to help women live their best lives now, as wives, as mothers, and overall human beings. I believe that your marriage and relationships will thrive when you thrive as an individual.
And that requires that you are intentional, deliberate and mindful about the choices you make in your thinking, your attitude and your behaviors.
It does not include being constantly annoyed with your husband.
And I want to assure you, that you can absolutely do this. You can be more intentional, deliberate and mindful.
We do this all the time when it comes to our appearance. We are intentional, deliberate and mindful about our hair, make-up and clothes.
But shouldn’t you look good, not only on the outside, but on the inside too? Shouldn’t you strive to be well-made in your character and your innermost being?
The answer is yes.
And today, I’m happy to announce a way that we can all do this work together.
Here’s your chance to join me and other like-minded women for my my new workshop, The Well Made Woman.
This is THE workshop to attend if you are committed to letting go of the parts of yourself that no longer serve you.
If you want to rid yourself of endless worry, feeling judged and criticized, letting your emotions get the best of you, and comparing your life to others.
This is the workshop to attend if you want to be better in your marriage, your role as a mother, your work, and life in general.
I’d love to have you there.
Why not join me?
It’s April 14, and will be hosted at Bloomingdale’s at The Mall at Short Hills here in New Jersey. And what better place to be in as we talk about becoming well-made, not only on the outside, but the inside too?
