Loneliness.
It’s probably something you never expected to feel in your marriage.
But here it is.
There is an emptiness inside of you craving that connection you once felt.
You miss his presence, even when he’s in the room with you.
You miss the talks, the conversations and discussions that brought you closer and helped you to really see each other.
Now, your longest conversation is around the logistics of managing your life together.
There is no connection.
No closeness.
No seeing each other at all.
In those moments when you feel most lonely, what do you do, ?
What do you turn to?
For whenever there is a need not being met in one way, we meet it in another.
Do you spend your time being “too busy” doing a million and one things?
Do you allow yourself to become addicted to the latest happenings in your social media news feed?
Do you turn to the comfort of your favorite snacks?
Do you binge watch TV and escape into the “reality” of others?
Do you find yourself shopping beyond your bank account?
I know you’re just trying to deal with the void that’s inside of you.
But those replacements will never fill the gap.
The gap first must be filled by a deeper relationship with God. The God inside of you, for He is there, always, waiting for your acknowledgment.
You are never alone.
Never, ever.
And the way you tap into His presence is by getting in His presence.
Turn on some worship music.
Talk to Him in prayer.
Read His word, as if it’s a message just for you.
Allow His spirit of love and peace to fill you, complete you, and bring you wholeness.
And once it does, you allow that positive energy to direct your interactions with your husband.
Speak to him from the deepest places of your heart, and from the love you have for him.
And if he’s not at a place to truly receive that, do not allow yourself to take it personally.
Instead, create with your thoughts, your words, and your beliefs the exact experience you want to have with him.
Ask God to soften his heart, and to teach him how to love you.
Believe that he will.
Align yourself with your desires, by always showing up as your best.
Affirm him.
Appreciate him.
Admire him.
For those things will always draw him to you, and make him want to be around you.
Do not let his actions determine how you respond.
You get to choose.
And if what you want more than anything is connection, look for ways to connect.
Your ego will try to protect you and tell you that withdrawing is the best thing to do.
But do not be deceived.
More than anything your husband is wanting to connect with you too.
You just have to lead the way…
If you could use some help in rebuilding the connection with your husband, I want to offer you 12 quick ways to do so that don’t feel like such hard work.
I know when the loneliness sets in, it’s hard to know what to start doing to turn things around. In this PDF, I offer you some immediate ideas that you can put to use tonight.
Yours in relating well,
Dr. Chavonne
