Have you ever asked yourself what you would do if your husband won’t change?
I know right now there are so many things about him you wish were different.
You wish he was more fun to be around.
You wish he helped out more with the house and kids.
You wish he paid more attention to you.
You wish he would talk to you and share what’s on his mind.
You wish he would listen to you and understand the things you are dealing with.
You wish he would stop working so much.
You wish he would compliment you more.
You wish he would make plans for you to do things together.
You wish he would text you throughout the day to let you know he’s thinking of you.
But what will you do if none of those wishes come to be true?
I ask my potential clients this question all the time. Most have no answer at all.
They are counting on him to eventually change or for something to be different in their situation.
So many times though, we want these things from our husbands because of how we think we will feel.
We think that if he would just be more present, caring and attentive, we would be so much happier together.
We think that if he would help out more and take on more responsibilities, we’d be less stressed and overwhelmed.
We think that if he would just make us feel valued, appreciated and special, we’d be so much more fulfilled.
But here’s the thing:
Your happiness, peace and fulfillment does not come from anything your husband does.
Those things come from within.
They come from inside of you.
God’s already given them to you.
And you get them by shifting your beliefs, your thoughts, your mindset and your focus.
Right now, you probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you that you could feel peace no matter how your husband is being.
But it’s possible.
The roadblock for you is that everything you think about and see right now is pointing you in the direction of disappointment.
There is a set of beliefs that are on constant repeat in your mind that have convinced you that you cannot be happy until things change.
I want to show you that when you are happy, that’s when things change.
That’s not something we can fully cover in this brief email.
But I do want to leave you with 3 things you can start doing today to generate a little more happiness in your life right now.
These are things you do on your own, without needing your husband to do anything differently that what he’s been doing.
Before you read on though, I actually want you to make the commitment to DO these 3 things. It’s no use for you to just consume this information, and take no action.
If you close out this email without having taken 7 minutes to do what I offer, you’ll stay stuck in the same place you were before you ever opened it. But I’ll assume that because you DID open this email, you were looking for some type of encouragement or solution to your problem.
So, is that a YES that you will DO what I’m about to coach you to do?
Great.
What I share below are little happiness hacks that can help put you in a more positive state of mind and feel better. Right now, you want your husband’s actions to change so that you can feel happier with him. I’m going to show you how to feel happier with him in the absence of any change on his part.
Can you trust me to help you do that?
I’ll assume you said yes!
Before we start, I need you to rate your happiness right now.
On a scale of 1-10, how happy are you being married to your husband? 1 is not at all happy and 10 is extremely happy.
Make note of that, and now let’s get to work on the 3 steps.
#1. Write down 10 things you are grateful for about your husband and/or your marriage.
This is important because you have got to start shifting your focus from what’s NOT working to what IS. When you think about positive things, it triggers the emotional centers in your brain to generate more positive emotions, like satisfaction, contentment and happiness. To not quit until you actually have 10 items on your list.
#2. Write down 1 thing that deep down inside you wish was true about your marriage right now.
Now turn that into a positive belief. Then close your eyes and say this belief to yourself 10 times right now.
For example, if you really wish you and your husband could talk to each other without fear it will lead to an argument, your belief would be: My husband and I talk to each other in ways that bring us closer together.
Or if you wished your husband paid more attention to you, your belief would be: My husband gives me all the attention I need.
Again, after you have created your belief, close your eyes, imagine it’s true and repeat it to yourself 10 times.
#3. Thank God for the way He is working in your situation right now.
If you take God at His word and if you love Him, you can rest in confidence knowing that all things are working together for your good. Even when it seems the opposite is happening. Take a moment to say this prayer (or create your own):
Lord, I surrender my thoughts, my beliefs, my mind and soul to you right now. Thank you so much for this opportunity to come to you. Thank you so much for what you are doing in my marriage. Thank you so much for how you are shifting things. Thank you so much for the ways I am growing as a wife and as your child.
Thank you so much for being present with me when I’m feeling down. Thank you so much for reminding me that when I’m weak, you are strong within me. Thank you for the peace you offer that surpasses all understanding. Thank you for the joy you’ve placed in my heart that I can access whenever I need it. Thank you for reminding me that you are in control, and that you are perfecting all things that concern me.
Lord, I surrender my husband to you right now. I thank you for bringing us together, and I thank you for the work you are doing in him right now. I leave it all to you, and choose happiness for myself. I choose to be content in my present situation and wait patiently expecting something even better in the future. I’m so thankful and so grateful that I see a more fulfilling relationship with my husband right now. And I ask that you show me what I am to do during this time of waiting. My eyes, ears and heart are open to hearing from you.
In the mighty name of Jesus I pray.
Amen.
Now, if you really did those 3 things, I want you to re-rate your happiness level right now. Was there an increase in your number? Do you feel a little more hopeful and optimistic?
I hope that’s the case.
I share these strategies because they work, when you really take the time to use them consistently.
Now if you experienced a shift just by doing these 3 things over email, imagine how you might feel after a full 30 days of working directly with me as your coach.
I am committed to helping you not only feel better about your marriage, but actually create a reality that matches the one you are believing in right now.
If you used strategies like these every day for 30 days and started taking more loving and less damaging actions in your marriage, you would see something pretty amazing things happen.
Many of those things on your husband wish list would start to manifest in your real life.
I know this to be true, personally and from my clients’ experiences.
These are just some of the things you should expect from the Marriage Breakthrough 30 Day Intensive Experience.
This powerful coaching program includes my most effective strategies to create lasting change within yourself, your husband and your marriage.
You will literally be amazed at how quickly you start to feel better and actually witness an improvement.
Through this program, I will show you how to effectively:
**Control your emotions so you can reduce the amount of time you spend frustrated with your husband
**Change the things about yourself that are destroying your marriage so you can feel truly happy again
**Influence your husband in positive ways that draw him close to you instead of driving him away
**Resolve your communication issues so that you feel heard, understood and respected when talking with your husband
Here’s what’s included:
-One 60 minute private coaching session – this is where we will uncover the biggest change that needs to happen so that your marriage is radically improved and you feel better and more hopeful about what’s happening.
-Customized 30 Day Marriage Improvement Plan – I will provide you with daily actions and exercises so that you can see tangible differences in your marriage and how your husband responds to you.
-4 Weekly Check-ins – I will encourage you, motivate you, and hold you accountable to the changes you want to make, and problem-solve any unexpected challenges
-One 30 minute follow-up coaching session – after you’ve completed the 30 days, we will map out a maintenance plan to consistently create positive change in the weeks and months to come.
In this program, you get me as your virtual coach, walking with you step by step to think more positively and become a happier person.
If there is any part of you that’s looking for help and support during this difficult time in your marriage, let’s see if I’m the right person to help you and if this program is the right solution.
CLICK HERE to schedule a complimentary consultation
You can be happy in your marriage right now, and I can show you the exact path to getting there.
Let’s talk about how to do that together.
Yours in relating well,
Dr. Chavonne
