“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” ~Napoleon Hill
The quote above has been said in many different ways by many different people. One of the reasons it’s so popular, is because it’s true. You’ll find this concept in nearly every religion and from anyone who had achieved true greatness in their lives.
In order to have something you want, you have to believe it’s possible.
This week’s challenge was all about Living out Your Dream for your marriage.
What are you dreaming about?
What do you want to be a reality?
What possibility do you now see?
For just a quick second, close your eyes.
Fix your mind on what you want your marriage to be.
Focus in on how you and your spouse interact with each other.
Imagine what it feels like.
Talk as if it’s already so.
Act as if it’s certain.
Feels good doesn’t it? Even if only for a moment.
If you tried this challenge, I’m sure at some point, your mind was filled with reasons why your dream may never come true. Or maybe you begin to doubt what you really want is feasible. Maybe it seems totally unrealistic. Maybe you think the amount of work it would take is exhausting. That your spouse will never change. That you don’t have the energy to turn things around.
Well, I’m telling you right now, with love and kindness, to STOP IT.
If you want it, it’s yours to have.
If you can dream it up, there’s a way to make it happen.
And you cannot give up.
Here are 3 encouraging messages and questions I want to leave with you.
1. You can do anything you set your mind to do.
I love the quote, “she believed she could, so she did.” It’s so straightforward and simple. If you believe you can, you will. If you believe you can’t, you won’t. There’s little more to say. Whatever you believe, you create – whether it’s through your actions or lack of actions – you are writing the story of your life with the tiny decisions you make every day.
This idea is the main foundation for this week’s challenge. There is nothing holding you back except yourself. Sure, it’s easy to say, “but my husband does this…” or “he will never do that…”. And that type of thinking robs you of your own power. You are in control of you. You have the ability to make things happen for yourself. If you want to be happier in your marriage, you are the only person capable of making that happen. You’ve just got to get your mind right to do so.
Question for you: What do your actions in your marriage show you believe?
2. You deserve all the happiness your heart can hold.
Sometimes we unconsciously sabotage our dreams because we don’t really believe we are worthy. We think that other people who are prettier, wealthier, friendlier, more whatever (fill in the blank) are the only ones who can have what we’d like.
We scroll on Facebook and see pictures of our friends having fun, enjoying date nights, vacations, expressing heartfelt love for each other, and we think, “Oh, they are so lucky. They must be having so much fun. Their life must be so great.” We idealize what we see on social media or on TV (I mean who doesn’t want the passion shared between Olivia and Fitz) and think, I’ll never have anything like that.
Or maybe you think back to how things used to be, when you and your husband were first together. How you could spend hours talking to each other, and you were SO excited to see each other. Maybe now you think you won’t be that happy again.
The truth is you will never pursue something you don’t think you deserve. When you believe you are not worthy, you unknowingly punish yourself and allow any obstacle to stand in the way of what you want. You sit down. You say nothing. You accept it as your lot in life.
Question for you: What do you believe you deserve in your marriage?
3. The love that brought you together, still exists.
Somewhere, beneath all the arguments, the disappointment, the frustration and anger, is a deep and lasting love. You found each other, out of all the people in the world, and made a commitment to spend the rest of your lives together. You did so out of love. You believed that nothing would change the way you felt about him. You accepted that while he was imperfect, he was still perfect for you. And over time you may have come to see different sides of your husband that break your heart or lead you to feel angry, but the only reason you have those emotions is because you love him.
Love doesn’t actually go away. It’s forever. There may be times when you can’t access it, or where it seems like a distant memory, but it’s always there. Waiting for you. You get to choose it at any time.
Now, I may sound like a hopeless romantic, but it’s much deeper than that. Challenges in a marriage result because some emotional need is not being met. Usually it has to do with how one person or the other experiences love. A comment in the wrong tone of voice, or a lapse in memory can trigger emotions that say, “you don’t really love me.” But that’s all in our mind and is a result of the story we choose to tell ourselves.
Underneath it all, the love is still there. You must feel it, or you wouldn’t have joined this challenge. Now you’ve just got to keep the love on top. Find it when it’s hard to see (Notice the Good). Reflect it from deep within (Look in the Mirror). Express it when it’s running low (Speak His Love Language). Create it with your words and actions (Live Out Your Dream).
Question for you: How will you keep the love alive?
As you probably know, this is the last and final week of our challenge. I hope you had fun and that you made some meaningful progress in your marriage. I’m so grateful you were on this journey with me.
The good news is our time together does not have to end here. I will be back on Monday (August 3) with a BONUS video challenge. There I’ll describe something really exciting that I created just for my Love on Top Challenge Members. You are going to want to hear all about how together we can make your dream marriage a reality.