UN-Happily Married: Is this really who you want to be? - RelateAble

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UN-Happily Married: Is this really who you want to be?

10 Nov 16
Chavonne Perotte


The question, is this really who you want to be, is incredibly powerful.

It implies that we have a choice in who we are.

Now of course, this makes sense on the surface.

We choose what job or career we’ll have.

We choose to become a wife.

We choose to become a mother.

We choose our friends, where we go and how we spend our time.

But in this context, the question is much deeper.

Angry. Resentful. Frustrated. Impatient. Judgmental. Unkind. Revengeful.

Is this really who you want to be?

So many times, we believe that our circumstances and what other people do cause us to be this way.

That’s just how we are. What other way is there to react to certain situations? We’ve always been that way. It’s too late to change.

Our husband is unloving, doesn’t show enough affection and doesn’t appreciate all that we do.

He doesn’t consider our feelings, doesn’t help out enough, doesn’t put forth an effort, and is just not fun to be around.

The romance is gone, we argue all the time, and it feels like we’re roommates living in the same house.

This is not what we signed up for.

So in response, we criticize, complain, point the finger, withdraw, and sometimes, consider our exit strategy.

We become this woman who’s on edge, waiting for him to make us upset, focusing on all his faults, consumed by all that’s going wrong.

But is this really who you want to be?

I’m going to guess the answer is no.

That really, you want to be someone who is happy, giving, loving, patient, kind, compassionate, and forgiving.

You want to feel loved, appreciated, understood, respected, and cherished. You want to feel important, and know that you matter.

You want to enjoy your life and your marriage. You want to feel like a wife who is adored by her husband. You want to be grateful for all that you have and excited about what’s in your future.

I have good news for you.

You can choose to be whoever you want at any point any time.

No matter what someone else is doing or not doing.

No matter how much you want to respond differently or have responded differently in the past.

You are 100% in control of how you respond to anything happening in your life.

Your emotions and feelings are not determined by other people. They are determined by you and you only.

Here are 3 really quick ways to choose who you really want to be.

#1. Pick 1-3 words or phrases that describe who you want to be. Write them down. Affirm that you are that person daily.

#2. In all situations and circumstances, remember you can choose to be those things. At any moment you choose.

#3. When you feel yourself getting upset or having some other negative emotion, ask yourself, who do I want to be in this moment? Is this really how I want to feel?

If it’s not, change it.

The choice is always yours.

Being who you really want to be always starts in your mind. Being a wife who is adored and cherished by her husband is up to you. If you’re not experiencing that in your marriage there’s 1 main reason why. There’s a piece to all this that you’ve been missing. As a respected marriage coach, I’ve helped hundreds of women understand what that is and take the necessary steps to change it. And I’d love to share that same information with you.

I recently created a video that reveals the #1 Reason You are Not Getting the Love and Affection You Crave from Your Husband. You can get it absolutely FREE.


Specifically, in this video you will:

*Discover the #1 thing that’s been preventing you from having the happy marriage that makes you feel loved, cherished and adored by your husband

*Understand the top mistake you’ve been unknowingly making and why all your previous efforts to get him to change have failed, leaving you even more frustrated

*Learn the most important rule every married woman must follow in order to unlock an outpouring of love and affection from their husband

*Uncover the single most important mindset shift that will instantly make you happier and more like a magnet drawing him closer and more in love with you than before

Don’t miss out!



And if being a Happily Married Woman is one of the things you want, I’ve got the perfect thing for you. I have a private Facebook group that’s all about providing encouragement, motivation and support to create happier, more loving marriages. Whether you are happily married right now, or hope to one day reclaim your happy status, you will love being a part of this group. It’s literally THE BEST marriage group on Facebook. All positive, practical and good advice that you can use right away. Check us out! I along with over 1,200 other women are waiting to welcome you! Find us here:



  1. Mrs. S. March 15, 2016 at 4:21 pm Reply

    Coming across this post in my timeline today was nothing but God thank you.

    • Chavonne Perotte March 16, 2016 at 1:33 am Reply

      So glad He used me to reach you today!! Thanks for this message.

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