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Why You Should Never Forget the Good Times | RelateAble
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Why You Should Never Forget the Good Times

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In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s so easy to get into a routine of just going, going, going.

The conversations with your husband can seem to only focus on the logistics of those daily tasks.

What will we have for dinner?
Who’s going to take the kids here and there?
Can you go run this quick errand?

Don’t get me wrong. There is a time and a place for all those household management conversations.

But when was the last time you had a chance to just talk about how you guys are doing as a couple?

When was the last time you laughed together about a really fun time you had or looked at pictures from
one of your favorite vacations?

I know, I know, it would be nice, but there is just no time for that.

But we all know, we make time for those things we feel are important.

This week’s Love on Top Challenge is all about taking that trip down memory lane. Taking a moment to
pause and reflect back on some of the best times in your relationship together.

I believe this practice is so important, as it serves as a great reminder and inspiration when things get
routine and a little stale. For me, I always considered part of marriage to be a partnership where you are
managing a life together. And sometimes, that’s just not very fun. Budgeting, paying bills, getting this
thing fixed and that thing repaired, cleaning this and washing that, responsibility after responsibility.

I wanted to us to pause to remember the fun we had, and to be inspired to create more fun moving
forward. Taking a quick trip down memory lane will do 3 key things for you and your husband this week:

1. It will provide insight to what’s important to you.

Over the course of your relationship, there are so many things to remember. Words you said to each other, gifts you gave or received from each other, special moments you spent together, times your husband was really there for you, and the list goes on.

The memories that come up first and quickly for you are your roadmap to the things in your marriage that matter most to you, and the things you want to make sure you incorporate regularly. It’s a little peak into your love language and what kind of experiences are most treasured by you. So if you remember funny times, having a fun and carefree time together is something you’ll want to create again and again to feel strong and connected in your marriage.

 

2. It will remind you of who you were and can still be.

Certainly, we evolve as couples. Life milestones, particularly, becoming parents dramatically change a relationship. And as we get older and wiser, we just can’t make some of the same choices we may have made before. Major trails in your relationship can also dramatically change how you interact and relate to one another. Perhaps you’re still holding on to some past hurts and unforgiveness.

Taking a moment to remember a fond memory, when you were truly happy and unweighted by the heaviness of life creates a reminder of who still exists inside of you, and the love, energy, and excitement that still exists in your marriage. You can recreate that feeling and those experiences once again.

 

3. It makes us more grateful in the present.

Remembering great things that happened in the past brings them to life again and calls them into our present moment. Just like remembering painful things from the past can bring up negative emotion, recalling amazing times can generate a sense of happiness, joy and gratitude.

Bringing these great memories to the forefront creates additional pathways in the brain that makes it easier to remember them again in the future. Your mind gets practiced at reliving a positive experience and will crave that experience again. You’ll look back with fondness and appreciation, which will make any present challenges a little more manageable.

So, keep taking that trip! Enjoy the great memories again and again, and use that inspiration to be intentional about creating more great times in the future!

 

By Chavonne Perotte

Trained Researcher. Empathetic Listener. Passionate Speaker. Goal guider. Relationship Builder.
Dr. Chavonne Perotte is a public health researcher who, over the past 10 years, has developed a range of curricula on healthy relationships, and conducted educational trainings, interactive workshops, and large conferences. Chavonne received her doctorate in public health from the Johns Hopkins University and focused her research on sexual health. It was there that she discovered her passion for hearing people’s stories, writing about their lives and creating solutions for common relationship issues. Chavonne is a dynamic speaker who is able to use her experiences, skills and knowledge to inspire people to take action in their own lives. She is the founder and CEO of RelateABLE, a relationship development and coaching group that guides individuals in creating the relationships they want. She is also the owner of The Glamorous Life Events, a full scale event planning and management firm. An aspiring author, Chavonne is currently working on a book that supports couples in effectively navigating infertility. Chavonne grew up in Northern Virginia and now lives in New Jersey where she enjoys her roles as a wife and new mother.