5 Ways to Reclaim Your Time, Your Identity, and Your Focus NOW - RelateAble

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5 Ways to Reclaim Your Time, Your Identity, and Your Focus NOW

28 Nov 17
Chavonne Perotte
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It never fails.

As soon as you sit down to have a quiet moment for yourself, someone needs you.

Your time immediately becomes consumed by meeting their needs, addressing their wants, and catering to their desires.

There was a time where you joyfully did those things, but now they seem like impositions. Inconveniences. Inconsideration.

And your frustration shows. You hurry to get it done. You’re not fully present and engaged. You’re annoyed and agitated that THIS is how you have to spend your time at the moment.

Is it too much to ask for a minute or two for you and you alone?

The demands of being a mother, wife, sister, friend, professional, and the long list of every other role you seem to fulfill, can be overwhelming at times.

And we all reach a point where continuing on the path we are headed, is just not cutting it anymore.

“There HAS to be a better way” rings through our minds over and over again.

You’ve seen firsthand the effects of being overwhelmed, stressed and burnt out.

You take things too personally and have become overly sensitive.

You have a hard time handling even small challenges.

Your patience is long gone and that kind and loving attitude is more the exception than the norm.

You spend more time worried about what’s next to do than appreciating the beauty of the present moment.

You make decisions based on what’s urgent and necessary rather than what’s important and aligned with your values.

You’re depleted and are trying to operate from an empty cup, offering that last drop in service to others in some way.

And here’s what you already know:

The time of putting yourself last, of constantly sacrificing yourself for others,

and running on empty as GOT to stop.


But knowing where to begin to turn the tide can sometimes be as difficult as recognizing the true problem in the first place.

You barely even know who you are anymore. It’s hard to identify what can bring true joy to your life right now. Sure, you’re busy, doing this thing and that, but behind the smiling faces, the check-ins at fun places, and the inspiring quotes that fill your Facebook timeline, is an emptiness that has lingered on for much too long.

You need your time back.

You need to rediscover who you really are and who you want to be.

You need to refocus on the things that truly matter to you and enhance your life in tangible ways.

I can say all this because I’m right where you are. As a 40 year-old mother of a 1 and 3 year old, my life, for the past 3 years has been a whirlwind of uncontrollable emotions, a search for significance and purpose, and scattered activities chasing things I thought would bring me happiness and a sense of fulfillment.

And as 2017 comes to a close, I refuse to enter 2018 the way I did this year. I realized that something had to change, and that SOMEthing, was me.

Several months ago, I embarked upon an intense and intentional journey of self-care. There have been habits and practices I’ve engaged in that have literally changed my life. I’ve been able to reclaim my time in a way that truly honors how I want to live my life. I’ve learned more about who I am as a person and the path to becoming more of the person I need to become. I’ve become aware of new ways to focus and stay on track pursuing the things that matter most and are aligned with my soul’s purpose. And now I want to share what I’ve been doing with you. What follows are the 5 most important things I began doing for myself that have helped me maintain my peace, my grounding, and my sanity when my time, my sense of self and my focus seemed to be slipping away.


#1. Create a morning routine.

This is absolutely essential as it sets you up for the entire day. A routine is a regular way you do things, in a particular order. So, right now, when you wake up, there are probably certain things you do automatically without giving it much thought. Creating a routine, on the other hand, is just being more intentional about it. Decide what will happen the second you wake up. How will you direct your thinking from the moment you enter into conscious awareness? What activities will you engage in that help you start your day with the right attitude, spirit and perspective? Be diligent in this routine and let nothing keep you from completing the items you’ve decided to do.


#2. Base your to-do list on your values and what’s important to you.

I’m sure if I asked, you would say your family is the most important thing to you. But do your actions and activities truly reflect that? Many times, we take care of the things that are urgent, but not that important, when really our time should be spent more on what’s important, which is rarely urgent. The phone calls to a loved one, taking time to just play and enjoy the children in our lives, reading that book that will help make our life better. Those are important but rarely get the full time they deserve. It’s time to base your time on the things you value most. If you have a moment, take a look at the Eisenhower Decision Matrix and assess how your time is allocated. This will be super helpful in determining what things you need to start saying no to, so that you can say yes to the things that are more important.


#3. Connect with like-minded women.

We learn about ourselves and thrive in relation to others. Your identity is in part a function of the types of social environments you put yourself in. We are relational beings created for connection. When we are in community with others who are striving for the same goals, embarking on the same journey of self-improvement, and can encourage and motivate us when we need it, we win. There comes a time in your life where the circle you are part of no longer helps you to grow -where you fall into old patterns of behavior, rather than soaring to a new level of yourself. That’s a clear indication that a new identity, a new version of yourself is wanting to be birthed, it just needs the right sphere of influence to come into existence.


#4. Align yourself with God and His purpose for your life.

So much of our pursuits in life, are a result of wanting to connect with our purpose. When we are not operating in that space, something feels incomplete. We know there is more to life for us, but are not sure how to get there or what it entails exactly. And so, we spend time aimlessly trying to find fulfillment in things that are not matched to our soul’s desires. We lose a sense of self playing the “role” that everyone expects of us rather than being led by the expectations of the one who creates us in the first place. We need to cultivate the habit of sitting still and listening to that small, quiet voice within that’s always trying to guide us to our destiny.


#5. Develop a gratitude practice.

If there is any practice that can bring things into focus and help us maintain the right perspective on what’s happening in our lives, it’s the practice of gratitude. Being able to focus your attention on all that’s working, all that’s going well, all that it unfolding exactly as it should, is an instant mood booster. And developing this skill will enable you to stay focused on any goal you’ve set out to achieve, to conquer any fear that presents itself to you, and to shift your mindset in ways that automatically set you up for success in any area of your life.


Now I know you may be reading this right now, nodding your head, shouting “amen” and knowing that all of this makes sense and represents the very things you need to do more of on a consistent basis. And it’s likely that you understand them, in theory. These are probably things you’ve even thought about before, but you’ve not had the time, space, or structure to actually integrate these habits and practices in your life in any meaningful or consistent way.

You don’t really know of a morning routine that can actually work for you right now.

You don’t even know where you would FIND the time to focus on yourself.

You don’t know the first step to uncovering who you really are and what things you like to do.

You may find it hard to make genuine connections with other women, and feel like, in some instances, you’ve outgrown many of your friends.

And the thought of doing some of that inner soul work to “explore your values”, and to “embrace the challenges of life” just seems like it’s no fun at all. Plus, you don’t even know how to do that in a way that leaves you feeling empowered instead of defeated and beating yourself up even more.

Or maybe you’ve been praying to God for so long now, but you don’t truly know how to quiet your mind long enough to actually hear His response.

What you really need is like a full-on break, with the time, space, and guidance to figure out how to make these things work for YOU. You need a minute to yourself with no distractions to process the things that have been left unprocessed, to tie up those lose ends in your life, and to create a realistic plan for your life as you enter into the next year.

You. Need. To. Get. Away.

And I know you’re thinking, “I can’t possibly get away. Who will do x, y, and z?”

But you have to stop and ask yourself if you can really afford not to. Can you continue on doing all of the things and going in a million different directions? Can you begin to see taking a moment to yourself as an actual GIFT to those you love? Can you see how refueling yourself first, just makes you stronger and better in all other areas of life that need you operating at full capacity?

If you’ve read this far, something I’ve said has struck a chord with you.

And maybe NOW is the time for you to actually get away.

To press pause on the busyness of life, tune into yourself and reconnect and align yourself with God.

If any of that rings true for you at this place in your life right now, I encourage you to consider joining me and some other amazing women for a getaway experience that will leave you feeling refreshed, refueled, and renewed for the remaining weeks of 2017 so you can enter 2018 as a more confident, focused, and grounded version of yourself.

On December 8-9, in New Jersey, I’m hosting the GLAM Getaway. Think pampering. Relaxing. Having fun. While also learning how to incorporate each of the above five practices in your life in a way that really works. And while GLAM does represent all of the luxurious details a woman like you will appreciate, it also stands for God’s Love Abides in Me and is all about tapping into that powerful spirit of love that lives within us all. You’ll strengthen the aspects of yourself that are just as you would like, as well as be inspired to make progress on those areas you KNOW need a little more attention and effort.

This is an unforgettable experience that will make such a HUGE difference in your life, and I’m truly honored to be your host. This 1 night away will have ripple effects in your life for the weeks, months, and years to come. Don’t miss your chance to finally reclaim your time, your identity and your focus as a new year approaches.

For all the details, agenda, as well as your discounted ticket, CLICK HERE!


Here’s you to reclaiming everything you want in your life,



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