Sometimes you don’t need a complete overhaul to repair your marriage. Sometimes, it just takes 1 step to make your marriage better.
On Saturday my husband and I made the trip back from North Carolina to New Jersey. Another 7 plus hours in the car.
I had been looking forward to this trip because I had so many things I wanted to talk about. So many ideas I wanted to run past him, so many things I just needed to share. Specifically, I wanted to present my ideas for our Marriage Enhancement Plan.
I know, I’m a little crazy, but here me out!
It’s so important that every couple take some time to reflect on their relationship and then outline a set of steps they will take to keep their union strong or to improve it when it’s fallen off track. So often people just put their marriage on cruise control and expect things to coast along without being intentional about the steering their marriage in the direction they’d like it to go.
We had definitely been guilty of the “cruise control” method of marriage, and I was eager to start 2018 with purpose and intention about making our relationship the best it could be.
So here I am with a thousand and one ideas. Things I am committed to doing. Things I’d like him to commit to doing. Things that are working well. Things that are not. I’m trying to pace myself so as to not overwhelm him.
But idea after idea, suggestion after suggestion, he kindly reminds me that it’s okay if we start small and take some tiny steps at first. I tend to be a 0 to 100 type of person and my husband is much more of a slow and steady.
Maybe you’ve had a moment or two like that yourself.
Where you want to see things change and get better so badly, that you’re trying 1,001 things as quickly as possible.
Maybe you’re the type of person so uncomfortable with things not being “just right” that you do everything you can think of to MAKE them right.
Or maybe you’re coming up with too many solutions to “fix” whatever may be going wrong, that you don’t even really know where to begin.
Today, I want to give you permission (as my husband did for me) to start small.
What’s one new habit that will move you in the right direction?
What’s one new ritual to start to keep your marriage strong?
What’s one conversation you need to have that will clear up some of the things blocking you from the intimacy you desire?
Why not focus on that small step for now?
For us, our small step is regular date nights. For as much as I KNOW this is essential for a healthy marriage, I admit that we’ve let this slide. Life gets in the way. Work gets in the way. Kids get in the way.
Well no more. 2 times per month is our goal. And for as much as I’d like to THINK doing more is the right thing to do, starting with this simple healthy practice will take us much farther than trying to tackle too many other things that ultimately just won’t get done.
So, what will it be for you? Have you talked with your husband about any marriage goals you’d like to commit to this year? If you could use some guidance, I have a handy little Marriage Maintenance Guide you can use.
Consider it my gift to you in this new year. People who have used this guide before often share how helpful it’s been to open up the lines of communication and keep their relationship on the right track.
CLICK HERE to get your Marriage Maintenance Guide!
Let me know how it works out for you!!
