It’s January 3rd already. Can you believe it??
There’s a lot of good energy as everyone wants to start the year off right.
But if I can be honest with you, I started the year a little confused about some areas of my life.
Confused about the next steps I should take. Confused about which direction made the most sense for me to go in.
I had spent a lot of time in prayer, but didn’t feel like I was receiving clear answers.
And so I decided to listen a little harder.
I started to write down the things I felt I was hearing God say to me, the things I felt he was showing me over and over again. The things that felt like ease and flow in my life vs. the things that felt like stress and overwhelm.
I wrote down scriptures, parts of prayers, and messages I was receiving from the books I was reading.
I consulted a friend. I consulted my husband. And still didn’t feel settled in my decision.
And then it occurred to me.
Sometimes the next phase of your journey requires that you rise up and become a different person than who you’ve always been.
You take a step that feels uncomfortable. Uncertain.
You make the decision to grow in a way that you’d rather not grow in.
You turn left when everything in you wants to turn right.
You shed the labels, excuses, limiting beliefs and other things that have been holding you back.
If you’re praying for a change in your marriage, you must become that change.
If you’re praying for a change in your finances, you must become that change.
If you are praying for a change in your career, you must become that change.
If you are praying for a change in your health, you must become that change.
And you may be asking, “Ok, Chavonne, how do I become that change. How to I make a difference within myself?”
Well I’m glad you asked. Here are a few suggestions:
1. Become extremely self-aware.
You must begin to observe yourself. What are your triggers, what are the ways you act that don’t align with who you really want to be? What are the things and situations that continue to upset you, even though you’d rather respond a different way?
Start keeping a mental list of your normal way of being. Begin to see yourself as if you are on the other side of yourself. Complete the sentence with as many characteristics as you can, “At my best, I can be…and at my worst I can be…”
2. Take full responsibility for the results you have in your life right now.
I really mean full responsibility. 100%. Now, are there things other people did to contribute to your situation? Yes! Are there things others in your life need to work on? For sure! Are there bad breaks and unfortunate circumstances that come into your life that you don’t really deserve?
Absolutely!
But in order to make ANY change in ANY thing, you have to look yourself squarely in the mirror and ask, “What am I doing that’s contributing to how I feel right now? What is the most important action I can take to move this situation in a better direction?” Taking 100% responsibility doesn’t let other people off the hook, it puts you in the driver’s seat to guarantee a positive outcome.
3. Decide how you want to be instead.
So if there are certain aspects of your personality, or certain decisions you keep making that you KNOW deep down are not working for you, not serving your highest good, you must be committed to change. I’ll never forget one day in church, the pastor said that in order to live the better life you want, a part of the old you has to die.
There was something so powerful and profound in that. I had to grapple with what part of me (the only me I’ve known mind you) had to die so that I might experience the desires God placed in my heart. I encourage you to do the same. Sit and think about who do you want to be.
How do you want those who love you to describe you?
How do you want to face challenging situations in your life?
How do you want God to see you?
Complete this sentence, “I will be living my best life when I am…, which means, in the process I must learn how to stop…”
4. Learn how to become who you really want to be.
It’s funny, when we need to learn how to get that perfect matte lip, or do our hair a certain way, or operate our new iPhone, we consult someone who has done it before.
We watch a video. We read a book on it. The same goes with all of those things of life we think we should just know how to do on our own.
Making any change in your life means that you don’t already know how to do it, otherwise, you would have accomplished it already (That’s worth Tweeting or Posting on FB!) So stop thinking you can figure it out on your own. Here are my main go-to resources whenever I want to work on some area of my life: Google, YouTube, Amazon, Audible, My iTunes Podcast, God (not necessarily in that order).
But seriously, in this day an age, someone has a seminar on it, a book on it, a podcast, a Facebook group about it, a ministry about it, or it’s already covered in the Bible.
Commit yourself to learning by soaking up as much information as you can from reliable sources. Answer the question: “Where will I go for information and support in making this change in my life?” What’s the most important skill or quality I need to develop? How will I know I’m getting what I need in order to realize that change?
I can’t tell you how many books I have or how many are on deck in my Audio book app. Every thing I’ve needed to learn, and every new way I’ve needed to start being has included a specific prayer to God, and a specific resource to help me find my way.
So, I hope these tips will be helpful to you as you strive to make 2018 an amazing year for yourself.
I know this road is not easy. You’ll have good days where you’re headed in the right direction, and other days where you feel like you’re taking 5 steps back. The key is to keep.going.
I’m excited about this year and the transformation that’s taking place within me. If you enjoyed what you read here and want to stay connected as you embark on your own transformation, be sure to sign up for my email list. There you’ll receive additional resources, videos and the encouragement you need to become the very best version of yourself. CLICK HERE to sign up!
